[Extra 002] Cohabitation
Lu YunFei and Bian JinYuan moved into their new home!
After living in the dorms for a semester, they finally chose a house and furnished it, moving in during their second semester. During moving day, Lu YunFei excitedly invited a bunch of friends over for hotpot, just to liven up the atmosphere.
Yuan Shuo had also visited, expressing that it was a good place after he had a look around. When he came upon the main bedroom, he was surprised to find that the door was locked, so he walked over to the second bedroom beside it, only to find that it too, was locked.
Yuan Shuo was confused, but Bian JinYuan replied indifferently, “Personal space, private.”
Yuan Shuo simply assumed that kids in this generation took their privacy seriously, and didn’t think too much about it.
Lu YunFei only opened up the door to the main bedroom after he left. Even though their place consisted of two bedrooms and a living room, both of them had never thought about sleeping separately. All of their stuff was in the main bedroom, while the second bedroom consisted of knick-knacks and books. When it was just the two of them, the bedrooms weren’t locked. When there were guests, they assumed the habit of locking the rooms.
There were others who had also asked why the bedrooms weren’t opened, but Bian JinYuan replied that these were their personal spaces. He had a naturally cold face, and his words were few and in between. Most people were quite afraid of him, so they didn’t press further.
“He wouldn’t have thought that something was up, would he?” Lu YunFei asked Bian JinYuan after Yuan Shuo left.
Bian JinYuan replied nonchalantly, “It wouldn’t have mattered even if he had.”
Lu YunFei thought about it, and figured that it made sense. Yuan Shuo wasn’t one of the people that Bian JinYuan cared about, and he didn’t want to gain anything from Yuan Shuo either, and so even if he knew about it, it wouldn’t affect them. “As long as he doesn’t tell my parents.”
“He wouldn’t,” Bian JinYuan said calmly.
It had been a few years, and Bian JinYuan was able to tell that the Yuan family truly wished for him to go home. Yuan Shuo was also really trying to get closer to him and to make up to him, and so even if he did find out about them one day, he wouldn’t volunteer this information to Lu YunFei’s parents. Unless, he truly desired to never again see him for the rest of his life.
Lu YunFei saw how he was his usual calm demeanor and no longer put this matter to mind, concentrating on researching what they would have for dinner.
On the first day of their cohabitation, while Lu YunFei was tucked in Bian JinYuan’s arms at night, he asked with an exploratory vigor, “Bian Bian, do we want to do something?”
Lu YunFei smiled and crawled up to say in his ear, “Of course it’d be something that lovers love to do.”
Bian JinYuan: …
Bian JinYuan silently peeled him off and said, “No hurry.”
Lu YunFei was helpless. He realised that Bian JinYuan really was in no hurry. Ever since the both of them left their homes to enter university, Lu YunFei had started bringing up the matter of ‘driving’. However, after an entire semester, he’d already learnt how to drive for real, and yet he still had yet to board this invisible car up Mount Qiū Míng★. If he hadn’t ascertained that Bian JinYuan’s engine was in good condition, and was truly in love with him, Lu YunFei would have wondered if he was being taken on a love scam.
“Didn’t you say that we could after we moved in together?” Lu YunFei poked him.
Bian JinYuan held his finger still and gently kissed it as he said, “You’re still young.”
“I’m already 19, not 9 years old,” Lu YunFei said in dissatisfaction.
Bian JinYuan heard his tone and smiled as he hugged him and whispered, “Then let’s wait until Fei Fei gets a little older, how about 20 years old.”
“Is there a difference?”
Bian JinYuan nodded, his voice soothing and low, “I wish to give you more time,” he said, “if you were a girl, I wouldn’t go further before the legal age of marriage, because I’d worry about having children. I’d worry that if we broke up, you would regret establishing a relationship with me.”
Lu YunFei looked up at him. In the dark, his eyes were bright. Bian JinYuan bent down to kiss his eyes, and Lu YunFei unconsciously closed them, his long eyelashes moving against Bian JinYuan’s lips.
Bian JinYuan’s kisses were gentle, fluttering, before it was replaced by a warm tone, “Even though you aren’t a girl, I’d still wish to give you more time to cement our relationship, and to let you like me even more. YunFei, to me, you dating me is your loss. No matter how much I like you, you will always be at a disadvantage. The more I like you, the more I’m afraid that you would regret it. And so I wish to give you more time, as well as to give ourselves more time.”
Lu YunFei had never thought that he was at a disadvantage, and also never thought that he would regret this. However, he understood where Bian JinYuan was coming from. Ultimately, it was because he liked him, that was why he was thinking so much for him.
“If you think that I’m at a disadvantage in our relationship, then why did you pursue us?” Lu YunFei asked, “It was you who confessed first.”
At this, Bian JinYuan smiled and rubbed his forehead as he said softly, “It couldn’t be helped, I liked you too much, so I wanted to be with you, and only you.”
“Then you even talked about how I might regret this. If I regretted this before I turned 20, you would break up with me?”
Bian JinYuan froze for a moment, and then hugged him tightly as he laid light kisses on his lips, “I wouldn’t,” he said softly in between kisses, “We wouldn’t break up, I would never break up with you.”
Lu YunFei was slightly surprised. According to Bian JinYuan’s words, if he regretted it, he would break up with him. He never thought that he wouldn’t.
Lu YunFei couldn’t help but laugh as he said gently, “You wouldn’t break up with me, yet you were scared of me regretting it. How did I not realise that you were so contradictory.”
It was contradictory, Bian JinYuan thought. He wished to give Lu YunFei more time, yet was afraid that the more people Lu YunFei met, and the more things he experienced, he would one day regret being with him. Yet, he was also very clear that even if Lu YunFei regretted it, he would never let go. He understood Lu YunFei too well, and so he would try his best to pursue him once more.
Unless, he no longer loved him.
Bian JinYuan kissed him and asked, “Is this very unlike me?”
“A little,” However this was because he liked him too much, “But it’s also very adorable.”
He looked at Bian JinYuan and said happily, “A serious and responsible Bian Bian is great, so I don’t feel like I’m at a disadvantage or that I would regret it. I won’t break up with you. After all,” Lu YunFei reached up to kiss his lips, “It’s not just you who likes me, I like you too. I like you so much, so I want to get closer to you. I wish to because my partner is you. Otherwise, I wouldn’t want to try these kinds of stuff. Thinking about it, it must hurt.”
Bian JinYuan smiled, “I wouldn’t make you hurt,” he said, “I’d try my best to be a good driver.”
Lu YunFei was a little embarrassed, but wouldn’t help his curiosity as he whispered, “Then tell me when you’re learning, we could learn together.”
Bian JinYuan smiled as he pressed him to his chest and didn’t say anything.
There were warm colours and cool colours in a drawing. Lu YunFei was undoubtedly a warm colour; bright, active, a splash of colour embodying the youthful nature of living for novelty and a thirst for experimentation. But Bian JinYuan was definitely the opposite of him in the cool colour; pensive, quiet, calculating three steps ahead of each step. He could see the vast road ahead of him, and could also see the thorns and bumps, and so he always wished to provide options for Lu YunFei. Even if those options weren’t what he favoured, he still wished to prepare them for him.
As they walked alongside each other, Lu YunFei’s steps were always light, while Bian JinYuan’s were heavy. As they stepped into the areas lit by the sun, Lu YunFei would pull him along as they swiftly ran across, savouring the warmth of the sun. When they encountered muddy areas, Bian JinYuan would hold him back, to slow their steps, in case he got hurt.
They walked in tandem, the both of them adjusting their pace to match the other as together they picked up their brush, hoping to illustrate an exciting and beautiful future.
After that day, Lu YunFei didn’t bring up the matter of driving. However, they were hot-blooded youths after all, and since they were sleeping on the same bed, it was inevitable that they would have heated moments together. And so before they had the chance to officially test drive, they embarked upon several stick shift sessions#, as they experienced the speed and excitement at the foot of Mount Qiu Ming.
On Lu YunFei’s 20th birthday, the both of them celebrated at home. Bian JinYuan had prepared his favourite dishes earlier, and he displayed roses and lit some candles. He had even learnt how to play a short tune on a violin. Of course, the violin was borrowed from someone else.
Lu YunFei gave a round of applause until his hands were red, the smile on his face showed no signs of dissipating.
Bian JinYuan gifted him a jade pendant, on it the deer that Lu YunFei was so familiar with. He liked the deer, and so Bian JinYuan often drew it for him. If he had time, he would also carve a new wooden sculpture for him, large and small versions as decorative gifts. Lu YunFei looked at the jade pendant in the box and asked, “You carved this?”
Bian JinYuan had wished to have carved it, but, “Babe, I don’t have this skill.”
Lu YunFei laughed, “To think that there’s something you can’t do in this world!”
“There’s so many things that I don’t how to do in this world,” Bian JinYuan said as he helped him wear the pendant, “But, if you’d like, I could learn them all for you,” he hugged Lu YunFei from behind.
Lu YunFei looked at the little deer on his neck, and turned back to look at him, his eyes showing obvious like and touched. He turned around and hugged the person in front of him as he said softly: “No need. I like you, and so you don’t need to learn anything. Your existence is enough for me to like you.”
Bian JinYuan smiled and kissed his ear.
That night, the two of them smoothly established a relationship. The next morning when Lu YunFei woke up, he felt uncharacteristically embarrassed, and snuggled with him for a while. Bian JinYuan saw him acting so coquettishly and couldn’t resist kissing him, to the point where the both of them went for another round at Mount Qiu Ming.
In year three, Bian JinYuan went to Yuan Shuo’s company to intern as his assistant.
He hadn’t wanted to go initially, but that day when he and Lu YunFei had gone over to eat at the Yuan family’s, father Yuan had been coughing. Mother Yuan explained, “It’s easier for us old people to get sick during the change of the seasons, don’t worry.”
Bian JinYuan looked at the frail Yuan elder and realised, for the first time, that their elderly bodies were frail.
When they left that day, Yuan Shuo was in charge of sending them back. As they boarded the car, Bian JinYuan caught a glimpse of some white hairs among his hair.
He froze momentarily, understanding now that Yuan Shuo was no longer young. He still cut a fine picture, receiving propositions from girls wherever he went, but he really was no longer young.
Lu YunFei wasn’t in a hurry to go back, and wanted to alight the car to take a walk for the rest of the way home. Bian JinYuan accompanied him to alight halfway. As they walked along the road with very few people, Bian JinYuan quietly held his hand and placed it inside his coat pocket.
Lu YunFei asked, “What are you thinking about?”
Bian JinYuan responded with an “Mmm”. After so many years, he knew that the Yuan family wanted him to inherit the family business. Yuan Shuo had mentioned it, and so had Yuan grandpa and grandma. It was just that he hadn’t agreed to it. It wasn’t because he had an opinion regarding the Yuan family, but that he didn’t see a point in doing so.
Just as how he didn’t wish to bestow the Yuan family anything, he hadn’t wanted anything from them. But now, seeing the elderly Yuan elders in their final years and the no-longer-young Yuan Shuo, Bian JinYuan suddenly felt a little soft-hearted.
“Yuan Shuo wishes for me to intern at his company,” Bian JinYuan said softly, “his parents also hold that wish.”
Lu YunFei nodded and said, “What about you? What do you think?”
“I’m mulling over it,” Bian JinYuan replied sincerely. He looked at the person before him and said candidly, “I haven’t made my decision.”
Lu YunFei smiled and said gently: “Then take your time.”
Bian JinYuan suddenly realised, “It seems that you’ve never tried to give me advice regarding such things.”
“That’s because you’re someone with your own opinions,” Lu YunFei said as he laughed. He lifted his other hand to poke at his chest, “You just have to follow the advice from here regarding the Yuan family.”
Bian JinYuan held fast onto his fingers and bent his head to kiss them.
They waited for a bit at the red light, and crossed the road when it turned green. Bian JinYuan looked at the bustling city before him, thinking about his and Lu YunFei’s future together, and slowly made his decision.
“I’ll probably take it up,” he said, “whether I inherit the Yuan family business or not, me assisting him will definitely help build my network and gain experience. This is a very good opportunity for me.”
He stopped walking and looked at the person in front of him as he said softly, “Lu YunFei, I want to be with you forever. I don’t wish for us to temporarily live together until we graduate from university. I wish for us to have a home. When you visited my home in the winter break of our third year in high school, I had a thought of wanting to build a home with you that only belonged to us. But the me who had nothing to my name couldn’t live up to you, and so, I have to become even more powerful. Only the powerful have the ability to write the rules in this world. The both of us are destined never to abide by these rules, and so I’m destined not to spend these four years peacefully in university like a normal student.”
He lowered his head to press up against Lu YunFei’s and asked, “What time did you usually head to bed when you were in high school?”
“Around 11pm.” Lu YunFei said. He had a regular routine.
Bian JinYuan smiled, “Then do you know what time I usually turned in?”
He pulled the person in front of him into an embrace as he answered his question, “I had never turned in before midnight. Even though everyone thought that I was smart, I think that I was really just a hardworking person. Only, my hard work used to be solely for myself. Now, I’m working hard for you.”
Lu YunFei kissed his chin and said gently, “Do your best!”
He looked at Bian JinYuan, his eyes full of warmth and brightness, and said, “I’ll do my best with you.”
The night was dark, and there were few people on the street. The road towards their home was quiet and long, but the street lamps were bright, illuminating the way.
Huh. I sleep past midnight but I don’t see any returns on my hard work on the level that Bian JinYuan enjoys?!
★ I wasn’t able to find a definitive source, but from what I gather from reading a bunch of danmei, driving is a euphemism for sex. Mount Qiu Ming is based off a mountain in street racing manga Initial D, so I suppose Mount Qiū Míng (秋名山) is just where people go to drive. I’m weirded out by how I wasn’t able to find any source for this – have I been blocked somehow or has censorship gotten even more potent? If anyone can find a source do let me know!
# While we’re on the theme of driving, stick shift or manual driving alludes to hand jobs hehehe!